What a ride...

I've had an insight come to me today thanks to my wonderful wife. I was in charge of watching/holding Andrew. He started to fuss after a little bit and it seemed that nothing I did could curtail his crying fury. I tried to swaddle him with my hands and normally he doesn't like people to touch his hands and legs. This really wasn't my most brilliant of idea's at all. His tirade became a full on nuclear crying bomb. His whole body was red and I felt so frustrated and bad.

I felt like I was a poor father who could only make his child upset. I thought of how Georgette can pick him up and hold him and he calms right down. I was wondering what I was doing wrong and just felt so inept. I put him down in his bassinet because I felt so frustrated and unable to console him. Georgette came in and took him off into his room for a minute. He stopped crying and calmed right down. I felt like I had the touch of discomfort and that he would always fuss when I held him. Dinner was ready and Georgette and I sat down for dinner. I didn't say much because I had no idea what to say being so frustrated. After dinner I took out the garbage and let Nilson go do his nature thing. I then sat down on the couch and stewed over the frustration I was experiencing.

Georgette came in and started talking to me and after a little bit of talking, she pointed out that he had gas, and also had soaked his diaper. That all his crying was from discomfort and not that I was doing anything wrong except missing his cue signs. It was a relief to me to know that it is only temporary. I don't know that I could survive parenthood if his tantrums were frequent and also with that same intensity.

I really felt silly and wondered how I seem to make things so different than reality sometimes. I took Andrew's crying for dislike and discomfort in my hands vs a dirty diaper and some gas. I felt like I took everything I did personally and made my way of thinking too complicated. I wondered if he could still see through the veil. I worried that he could see right through me.

Needless to say it was just discomfort and he settled right down.